Egg Freezing Counseling
Freezing your eggs is about more than medical decisions. It's about your future, your relationships, and your sense of self.
Dancing Bee Counseling provides specialized emotional support for egg freezing (oocyte cryopreservation). Whether you're still deciding, in the middle of a cycle, or processing feelings after retrieval, I help you work through the complicated emotions that come with preserving your fertility. This choice can feel empowering and overwhelming at the same time. You don't have to figure it out alone.
Egg Freezing Is an Emotional Decision
You probably didn't picture this when you imagined your path to parenthood. Researching fertility clinics, comparing AMH levels, budgeting for a medical procedure that might sit in storage for years. Egg freezing, whether elective or for medical reasons, brings up questions you might not have expected to face yet: questions about your timeline, your relationships, your body, and your future.
The decision to freeze eggs often comes with mixed feelings. Relief at having an option. Grief that you need it at all. Fear about whether it will work. Guilt about the cost. Loneliness because most people around you aren't facing this. Pride in taking control of your fertility. Sadness about what this says about where you are in life.
All of these feelings can exist at once. Egg freezing can feel both empowering and heartbreaking. You can be grateful for the technology while mourning the life path you expected. Both things are true, and both deserve space.
I provide therapy that honors the full emotional experience of egg freezing, not just the "empowerment" narrative, but the grief, fear, and ambivalence too. You deserve support that sees the whole picture.
Why People Choose to Freeze Eggs
Whatever brought you to consider egg freezing, your reasons are valid and your feelings deserve support.
Career and Timing
You're focused on your career, education, or personal goals and want to preserve the option of biological children later. This is sometimes called "elective" or "social" egg freezing, though those terms can feel dismissive of how personal and necessary this choice often is.
Relationship Status
You haven't met the right partner yet, or you're in a relationship that isn't ready for children. Freezing eggs can feel like buying time while you figure out your relationship future, though it can also bring up painful feelings about where you are.
Medical Necessity
A cancer diagnosis, endometriosis, or other medical condition requires you to preserve fertility before treatment that could affect your eggs. Medical egg freezing often happens quickly, leaving little time to process the emotional impact.
Age and Ovarian Reserve
Your doctor has expressed concern about diminishing ovarian reserve or your AMH levels, prompting a conversation about preserving fertility now. Receiving this information can feel shocking and urgent, even if you weren't planning to think about this yet.
Gender Transition
You're planning hormone therapy or surgery that will affect fertility and want to preserve the option of biological children. The intersection of gender transition and fertility preservation brings its own unique considerations.
Uncertainty About Parenthood
You're not sure if you want children, but you want to keep the option open. Freezing eggs can feel like a way to defer the decision, though it also forces you to confront questions you might have been avoiding.
Common Feelings During Egg Freezing
These emotions are normal. You're not the only one who feels this way.
Empowerment
Taking control of your fertility. Making a proactive choice. Feeling grateful that this technology exists and you have access to it.
Grief
Mourning the path you expected. Sadness that you need medical intervention for something that seems to come easily to others.
Anxiety
Fear about the process, the injections, the retrieval. Worry about whether you'll get enough eggs. Anxiety about whether they'll ever work.
Anger
Frustration at the biological clock, the cost, the unfairness. Anger at society's expectations or at people who don't understand.
Loneliness
Feeling isolated because most friends aren't going through this. Not knowing who to tell or how to explain what you're doing.
Numbness
Shutting down emotionally to get through the process. Going through the motions without fully processing what's happening.
Financial Stress
The cost is significant. Guilt about spending money on something uncertain. Stress about how to afford it and the ongoing storage fees.
Ambivalence
Not being sure if you even want children. Questioning whether this is the right choice. Feeling torn between options.
Relief
After retrieval, relief that it's done. Comfort in having taken action. A sense of having bought yourself time, even if uncertainty remains.
The Egg Freezing Process
Each phase of egg freezing brings its own emotional challenges. I provide support throughout.
Decision Phase
Processing ambivalence, researching options, managing pressure from timelines, family, or doctors.
Preparation
Consultations, testing (AMH, AFC), choosing a clinic, financial planning, telling (or not telling) others.
Stimulation
Daily injections, monitoring appointments, hormone side effects, managing work and life around treatment.
Retrieval
Procedure anxiety, waiting for results, processing the number retrieved, physical recovery.
After Freezing
Relief, grief, questions about "now what," deciding if more cycles are needed, returning to regular life.
Storage Years
Living with eggs on ice, annual storage decisions, relationship changes, revisiting feelings over time.
Using Eggs
Deciding to use frozen eggs, thawing anxiety, IVF process, managing expectations about success.
Disposition
If unused, deciding what to do with remaining eggs: discard, donate, or continue storing. Each option has emotional weight.
Empowerment and Grief Can Coexist
The media often presents egg freezing as purely empowering: women taking control of their fertility! And it can be that. But the empowerment narrative can leave you feeling like something's wrong if you're also sad, scared, or conflicted.
I believe you can feel proud of your choice and still grieve that you needed to make it. You can be grateful for the technology and still resent that it exists because of biological realities that feel unfair. You can feel powerful and vulnerable at the same time. None of these feelings cancel each other out.
Egg Freezing Counseling Services
I provide therapy specifically tailored to the emotional experience of fertility preservation.
Decision Support
Working through ambivalence about whether to freeze. Processing pressure from doctors, family, or your own internal timeline. Making peace with whatever you decide.
Procedure Anxiety
Coping with injection anxiety, medical procedure fears, and the physical demands of stimulation. Strategies for managing appointments and side effects.
Grief Processing
Space to mourn the life path you expected. Processing grief about needing to freeze eggs, about timing, about relationships, about your body.
Relationship Impact
How egg freezing affects current or future relationships. What to tell partners. Navigating dating while going through or after freezing.
Communication Support
Deciding who to tell and how to handle questions. Managing insensitive comments. Setting boundaries with family about your reproductive choices.
Future Planning
Processing uncertainty about the future. What happens if you use the eggs? What if you don't? Making peace with not knowing how this story ends.
Processing the Decision to Freeze Eggs
The decision to freeze eggs is rarely simple. It involves medical information, financial calculations, relationship considerations, and deeply personal values about family, timing, and what matters most to you.
I help clients work through the decision process without pushing toward any particular outcome. Some questions we might explore together:
What's driving the urgency? Is it internal, external, or medical?
How will you feel if you freeze and never use them?
How will you feel if you don't freeze and later wish you had?
What does this decision mean about your life and timeline?
What support do you need to move forward either way?
Life After Egg Freezing
The cycle ends, but the emotional processing often continues.
Processing the Results
How do you feel about the number of eggs retrieved? Relief? Disappointment? Uncertainty about whether it's "enough"? I help you process whatever feelings come up about your results.
Considering Additional Cycles
Should you freeze more? How do you weigh the cost, the physical toll, and the emotional investment against the potential benefit? Working through this decision with clarity.
Returning to Regular Life
After weeks of monitoring and medication, suddenly it's over. The transition back to normal life can feel anticlimactic or disorienting. Processing the letdown.
Living with Eggs on Ice
The years between freezing and potentially using your eggs bring their own emotions. Annual storage fee reminders. Relationship changes. Revisiting the decision over time.
Who Benefits from Egg Freezing Counseling
You're considering egg freezing and feeling overwhelmed by the decision
You're anxious about injections, monitoring, or the retrieval procedure
You feel sad or conflicted about needing to freeze your eggs
You're freezing eggs due to a medical diagnosis and need emotional support
You're single and feeling complicated emotions about your relationship status
The financial cost is creating stress and you need help processing it
You've already frozen and are struggling with what comes next
You feel isolated because no one in your life is going through this
Questions About Egg Freezing and Counseling
Is egg freezing emotionally difficult?
Egg freezing can be emotionally complex for many reasons. The decision itself often brings up feelings about aging, relationships, career choices, and the life timeline you imagined. The process involves hormone injections, monitoring appointments, and a retrieval procedure that can feel overwhelming. Many people experience grief about needing to freeze eggs at all, guilt about the cost, anxiety about whether they're making the right choice, and fear about what the future holds. Even when egg freezing feels empowering, it can also feel lonely, scary, or sad. These mixed emotions are normal and worth processing with support.
Should I see a therapist before freezing my eggs?
Seeing a therapist before egg freezing can be helpful for several reasons. If you're struggling with the decision, therapy provides space to work through your ambivalence without pressure. If you have anxiety about medical procedures or injections, a therapist can help you develop coping strategies before the cycle begins. If you're freezing eggs due to a medical diagnosis, processing those emotions first can make the treatment easier to handle. That said, therapy isn't required and many people get through egg freezing without it. Consider your own emotional needs, your support system, and how you typically cope with medical procedures and big life decisions.
Why do I feel sad about freezing my eggs?
Sadness about egg freezing is common and makes sense. You might be grieving the life path you expected, where you'd have children naturally with a partner by a certain age. You might feel sad that you need medical intervention for something that seems to come easily to others. You might be mourning the loss of spontaneity around family building, or feeling the weight of your biological clock in a way that feels unfair. Even when egg freezing is the right choice, it often represents a departure from the story you told yourself about how your life would go. That loss deserves acknowledgment.
How do I cope with egg freezing injections?
Many people feel anxious about the injections required for egg freezing. Strategies that help include: watching injection tutorials until the process feels familiar, having someone else administer them if possible, using ice to numb the area beforehand, practicing deep breathing before and during, rewarding yourself after each injection, and reminding yourself that the discomfort is temporary. If needle phobia is significant, talk to your clinic about options like numbing cream or having a nurse teach you in person. A therapist can also help with specific anxiety management techniques for medical procedures.
What if I freeze my eggs and never use them?
This concern is common among people considering egg freezing. Some find this possibility distressing, while others see it as the best possible outcome because it would mean they conceived naturally or changed their mind about having children. Therapy can help you explore your feelings about this possibility before you freeze. Consider: How would you feel if you never used them? What would that mean about the decision to freeze? Many people find peace in viewing egg freezing as insurance, hoping they won't need to use it but grateful to have the option. The eggs themselves don't obligate you to any particular future.
Abby Lemke, MS, LPC-IT
Egg Freezing Support Specialist
I provide a space where all your feelings about egg freezing are welcome, not just the "empowering" ones. Whether you're feeling grateful, sad, scared, angry, relieved, or all of the above, I'm here to help you process the full emotional experience of fertility preservation.
As a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine with specialized training in fertility mental health, I understand the medical aspects of egg freezing and can support you through each phase of the process. I won't minimize the difficulty or push toxic positivity. I'll meet you where you are.
Whether you're still deciding, in the middle of a cycle, or years past retrieval and still processing what it meant, I'm here to help you make sense of this significant life experience.
More About AbbyEgg Freezing Counseling in Madison, Wisconsin
🐝 Dancing Bee Counseling
Office Address
101 E Main St, Suite 4
Waunakee, WI 53597
Phone
608-967-6105Serving Dane County and Beyond
UW Fertility · Forward Fertility · Wisconsin Fertility Institute
Your Feelings About Egg Freezing Matter
Whether you're deciding, in the process, or looking back, I'm here to help you make sense of this experience.
In-person in Waunakee · Telehealth throughout Wisconsin