Questions About Fertility Counseling

A fertility specialist therapist has dedicated training in reproductive mental health through organizations like the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM). This training includes understanding:

• IVF and IUI protocols, timelines, and procedures
• Fertility medications and their emotional side effects
• The specific grief patterns of infertility and pregnancy loss
• How fertility struggles affect relationships and intimacy
• The unique anxiety of the two-week wait and treatment cycles

With a specialist, you won't spend sessions explaining what an HSG is, why the two-week wait is so hard, or what a chemical pregnancy means. Your therapist already understands.

Your first session focuses on understanding your story and current situation. We'll discuss:

• Your fertility journey so far
• What brings you to counseling now
• Your treatment history if applicable
• How you're coping emotionally
• What you hope to gain from therapy

This is also your opportunity to ask questions and determine if we're a good fit. There's no pressure to share more than you're comfortable with in the first session. Many clients feel nervous before starting, and that's completely normal.

There's no "right" time to start fertility counseling. Some clients come early in their trying to conceive journey, while others seek support after months or years of struggling. Common times people reach out include:

• When anxiety about conceiving becomes overwhelming
• Before, during, or after IVF or IUI treatment
• After a pregnancy loss or multiple losses
• When infertility is affecting your relationship
• When you're feeling isolated or depressed
• When facing difficult decisions about treatment or family building

If you're wondering whether counseling might help, that's usually a sign it could.

No referral is needed. You can schedule an appointment directly by calling 608-967-6105 or emailing abby@dancingbeecounseling.com. Some fertility clinics do refer patients for emotional support, but self-referrals are welcome and common.

If you're working with a fertility clinic and would like your counselor to coordinate with your medical team, that's possible with your written consent.

Yes—absolutely. You are a whole person, and infertility is only one part of your story. In our work together, every aspect of your life is welcome. You can use our time for whatever support you need, whether it's related to infertility or something entirely different. You don't have to limit yourself here. I'm here for all of you.

Dancing Bee Counseling offers specialized support for many aspects of the fertility journey:

• IVF emotional support and IUI support
• Miscarriage and pregnancy loss counseling
• Fertility anxiety and two-week wait anxiety
• Infertility depression and grief
• Couples fertility counseling
• TTC stress management
• Pregnancy after infertility support
• Postpartum support after infertility
• Egg freezing emotional support
• Adoption counseling

Yes, couples fertility counseling is available both in-person and via telehealth. Infertility puts unique stress on relationships, affecting communication, intimacy, and connection. Couples counseling helps partners:

• Communicate about fertility in healthier ways
• Support each other through treatment
• Navigate relationship strain
• Make decisions together about treatment paths
• Maintain connection during the fertility journey

Partners can join sessions together from one location, or if schedules differ, each person can join via telehealth from separate locations.

Yes, pregnancy loss counseling is a core part of our practice. We provide support for:

• Early miscarriage
• Chemical pregnancy
• Ectopic pregnancy loss
• Second trimester loss
• Stillbirth
• Recurrent pregnancy loss
• Failed fertility treatments

Pregnancy loss grief is unique and often misunderstood by others. A fertility specialist understands this grief and can help you process your loss without judgment or pressure to "move on."

Absolutely. IVF emotional support and IUI support are among our most requested services. Treatment cycles are emotionally intense, involving hormone fluctuations, frequent monitoring, procedural anxiety, and the weight of hope and fear.

Counseling during treatment can help you manage anxiety, cope with uncertainty, process difficult emotions, and maintain your wellbeing throughout the cycle. We coordinate around your treatment schedule, and telehealth makes it easy to attend sessions even during demanding treatment weeks.

Many people assume that once you're pregnant, the anxiety disappears. For those who've experienced infertility or loss, that's rarely true. Pregnancy after infertility often comes with persistent anxiety, fear of loss, difficulty bonding with the pregnancy, and complicated emotions.

We support clients throughout pregnancy after infertility, helping them manage anxiety, process complicated feelings, and prepare emotionally for parenthood. Support continues into the postpartum period if needed.

Individual therapy sessions are typically 50-55 minutes. Couples sessions may be scheduled for 50-55 minutes or extended to 80-90 minutes depending on your needs and preferences.

Session frequency varies based on your situation. Weekly sessions are common during active fertility treatment or acute grief. Many clients transition to biweekly sessions as they stabilize, and some eventually move to monthly check-ins or as-needed appointments.

You can schedule an appointment by:

• Calling 608-967-6105
• Emailing abby@dancingbeecounseling.com
• Using the contact form on the contact page

We'll respond within 1-2 business days to schedule your first session. If you're in crisis, please call 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or go to your nearest emergency room.

Our office is located in Waunakee, Wisconsin:

101 E Main St, Suite 4
Waunakee, WI 53597

Free parking is available. We're conveniently located for clients from Middleton, Sun Prairie, DeForest, Verona, Fitchburg, and the greater Madison area.

Telehealth is available for clients throughout Wisconsin who prefer virtual sessions.

We understand that fertility treatment involves unpredictable schedules. We ask for 24 hours notice for cancellations when possible. If you need to cancel due to a last-minute fertility clinic appointment or treatment-related issue, please let us know as soon as you can.

Repeated no-shows without communication may result in a cancellation fee. We work with clients to find scheduling solutions that accommodate the demands of treatment.

Yes, telehealth is available to all clients throughout Wisconsin. Many fertility clients prefer telehealth because it:

• Eliminates travel during physically demanding treatment cycles
• Provides privacy during sensitive conversations
• Offers flexibility around unpredictable fertility clinic schedules
• Makes sessions accessible during the two-week wait when leaving home feels hard
• Allows continued care during Wisconsin winters

Virtual sessions use a secure, HIPAA-compliant video platform accessible through your web browser. No special software downloads are required.

Yes, research consistently shows that online therapy is equally effective as in-person therapy for most mental health concerns, including fertility-related issues. For many fertility clients, telehealth is actually preferable because of the unique demands of treatment.

You receive the same specialized care whether meeting virtually or in-person. The therapeutic relationship and quality of support remain the same regardless of format.

For telehealth sessions, you need:

• A device with a camera and microphone (smartphone, tablet, laptop, or computer)
• A stable internet connection
• A private space where you feel comfortable talking

No special software downloads are required. You'll receive a secure link before each session that opens in your web browser.

Yes. Abby Lemke is licensed in Wisconsin and can provide telehealth services to clients anywhere in the state. Whether you're in Milwaukee, Green Bay, Madison, Eau Claire, La Crosse, or a rural area far from fertility specialists, you can access the same quality specialized care.

This is especially valuable for clients who live in areas without local fertility counseling options.

Dancing Bee Counseling is an out-of-network provider. We provide superbills (detailed receipts) that you can submit to your insurance company for potential reimbursement if you have out-of-network mental health benefits.

Many clients receive partial reimbursement through their insurance plans. The amount depends on your specific plan's out-of-network coverage.

Call the member services number on your insurance card and ask:

• Do I have out-of-network mental health benefits?
• What is my out-of-network deductible for mental health?
• What percentage of out-of-network mental health visits do you reimburse?
• Is there a limit on the number of sessions covered per year?
• How do I submit a superbill for reimbursement?

Keep notes during the call, including the representative's name and the date you called.

We accept credit cards, debit cards, and HSA/FSA cards. Payment is due at the time of service. Superbills are provided for insurance reimbursement submission.

Yes, therapy is typically an eligible expense for Health Savings Accounts (HSA) and Flexible Spending Accounts (FSA). You can use your HSA/FSA card to pay for sessions directly, or pay with another method and reimburse yourself from your HSA/FSA.

Check with your plan administrator if you have questions about eligible expenses.

Yes. Infertility triggers a range of intense emotions that are completely normal responses to an abnormal situation. Common feelings include:

• Anxiety about whether you'll ever have a baby
• Grief over the loss of the life you imagined
• Depression and hopelessness
• Jealousy when others announce pregnancies
• Isolation from friends and family
• Guilt or shame (even though infertility is not your fault)
• Anger at your body, your situation, or the unfairness of it all
• Strain in your relationship

If you're struggling, that's not weakness. It's a human response to a painful experience, and support is available.

The two-week wait is one of the most anxiety-provoking parts of the fertility journey. Some strategies that help include:

• Limiting symptom-spotting and internet searches
• Staying engaged with activities you enjoy
• Reaching out to supportive people (or limiting contact with unhelpful ones)
• Practicing mindfulness or grounding techniques
• Scheduling a therapy session during the TWW for support
• Acknowledging the anxiety rather than fighting it

Fertility counseling can help you develop personalized coping strategies for this difficult period.

Pregnancy announcements and baby showers can be painful when you're struggling to conceive. It's okay to:

• Take space from social media
• Skip baby showers or leave early
• Send a gift instead of attending
• Limit time with pregnant friends temporarily
• Feel both happy for others and sad for yourself

You can care about others and still protect your own wellbeing. Fertility counseling can help you set boundaries and cope with these difficult moments.

Infertility often affects partners differently, which can create relationship strain. Tips for communication include:

• Set aside dedicated time to talk (not right after appointments or bad news)
• Use "I" statements to express your feelings
• Listen without trying to fix
• Acknowledge that you may process things differently
• Consider couples counseling for support

It's common for partners to be out of sync emotionally. Supporting each other doesn't mean feeling the same things at the same time.

Yes. While counseling can't change your diagnosis or guarantee a pregnancy, it can significantly improve how you cope with the experience. Fertility counseling helps by:

• Reducing anxiety and depression symptoms
• Processing grief and loss
• Improving communication with your partner
• Developing coping strategies for treatment stress
• Making decisions that align with your values
• Maintaining your sense of identity beyond infertility
• Reducing isolation