Male Infertility Counseling
Because men struggle with infertility too.
Male factor infertility impacts nearly half of couples facing fertility challenges, yet men often lack the emotional support they deserve. At Dancing Bee Counseling in Madison, Wisconsin, Abby Lemke, MS, LPC-IT offers specialized therapy designed for men—providing a safe space to process a diagnosis, navigate treatment decisions, and work through the grief that is too often left unspoken. Here, your strength isn't measured by silence; it's honored through understanding and care.
The Struggle Men Rarely Share
Getting those test results can feel like everything changes. And yet, many men don't talk about this. There's no casual support group at work, no Instagram posts about male infertility, no friends swapping stories over beers. The stigma keeps men silent, and that silence turns into isolation. You're expected to be strong, supportive, focused on your partner—while your own grief stays hidden.
But those feelings are real. The shame, the questions about masculinity, the fear that you're somehow "less" because your body isn't cooperating—they're all real. And they deserve attention, not suppression.
That's why counseling for male infertility matters. It's a space where you can talk openly, without judgment, and start to work through what you're feeling. You don't have to carry this alone.
Understanding Your Experience
Male infertility can bring up emotions that are often hard to talk about. Many men experience these feelings but rarely share them—and that silence can feel heavy. Here are some common experiences:
Shame and Self-Doubt
It's easy to feel like something is wrong with you, or that you're not enough. These feelings can touch deeply on identity, and many men keep them hidden from friends and family.
Guilt Toward Your Partner
You may feel responsible for the extra steps your partner has to take—procedures, medications, and the physical toll. That guilt can add to your own emotional weight.
Questions About Masculinity
Our culture often ties manhood to fertility, which makes this journey even harder. Wondering what this means for your identity is a common and understandable struggle.
Isolation
Men rarely talk about infertility. It's not something shared at work or over drinks with friends. That silence can lead to feeling alone in what you're going through.
Grief
There's grief for the path you imagined—the ease of becoming a parent, the genetic connection, the future you pictured. These feelings deserve space and care.
Anxiety and Low Mood
The stress and uncertainty can lead to worry, sadness, and feeling stuck. These are real emotional impacts, and support can make a difference.
Male Infertility and Partner Dynamics
Male factor infertility affects your relationship in specific ways. Understanding these patterns can help you navigate them together.
Guilt and Connection
It's natural to feel a sense of guilt and to want to protect your partner from the challenges of treatment. It is a sign of how much you care. Staying connected during this time matters, and open communication can help you both feel supported. Remember, you're navigating this together, and her feelings about the diagnosis are just as valid as yours—sharing openly can strengthen your bond.
Communication Breakdown
You process differently than she does. She wants to talk; you want to fix or avoid. She's on fertility forums; you can't look at them. Communication about male infertility requires bridging different coping styles.
Keeping Intimacy Close
Fertility challenges can make intimacy feel complicated, but it doesn't mean closeness has to disappear. It's okay if things feel different right now—many couples go through this. With patience and open conversation, you can find ways to reconnect and keep your relationship strong. Intimacy can still be a source of comfort and love, even in the midst of this journey.
Supporting Partner While Struggling
You want to be there for her, especially when she's the one getting injections and procedures. But you're struggling too. Supporting partner while managing your own grief is exhausting. Couples fertility counseling can help.
Individual therapy for men with infertility can help you process your own experience. Couples therapy can help you navigate this together. Both are valuable.
Counseling for Men with Infertility
Male infertility emotional support addresses the specific challenges men face.
Space to Actually Talk
Therapy provides what men rarely have: a space to talk openly about male infertility feelings without judgment, without needing to be strong, without protecting anyone else. Someone who listens to your experience specifically.
Processing Shame and Stigma
We work through male infertility shame and the stigma around male infertility that keeps you silent. Shame grows in secrecy and shrinks when spoken. You're not broken, defective, or less of a man.
Exploring Masculinity
What does manhood mean when your body isn't doing what culture says it should? We explore male infertility and masculinity, separating your worth from your diagnosis, finding a more grounded sense of self.
Managing Depression and Anxiety
If male infertility has triggered depression or anxiety, we address these directly with evidence-based approaches. Men's mental health deserves the same attention as women's.
Navigating Difficult Decisions
If you're facing major decisions about your path forward, therapy helps you process grief and explore what fatherhood means beyond biology.
Improving Partner Communication
How men cope with infertility often differs from their partners. We develop strategies for communicating about this, supporting your partner while also tending to your own needs.
Supporting a Male Partner with Infertility
If you're researching support because your partner is struggling, here's what might help.
Don't Minimize
Saying "it doesn't matter" or "we'll figure it out" dismisses his grief. It does matter to him. Let him feel it.
Give Him Time
Men often process more slowly or differently. He may need time before he's ready to talk. Don't force conversations.
Don't Blame
He's already blaming himself. Any hint of resentment will cut deep. This isn't his fault any more than female factor would be yours.
Encourage Professional Help
Suggesting therapy isn't saying he's weak. It's recognizing that this is hard and he deserves support. A male infertility therapist can provide what friends and partners can't.
Couples counseling can also help you navigate this together, addressing both of your experiences and strengthening your relationship through this challenge.
Who Seeks Male Infertility Counseling?
Just diagnosed with male factor infertility and processing the news
Facing difficult decisions about your path forward
Struggling with shame and feeling like you're "the problem" in your fertility journey
Questioning masculinity and what infertility means about you as a man
Watching partner go through treatment because of your diagnosis and feeling guilty
Not talking to anyone about what you're going through and feeling isolated
Experiencing depression or anxiety related to infertility diagnosis or treatment
Making decisions about treatment options or ending treatment
If you're a man struggling with infertility, you deserve support designed for your experience.
Schedule a ConsultationQuestions About Male Infertility Support
How do men cope with infertility?
How men cope with infertility varies, but common patterns include: withdrawing and processing internally rather than talking, focusing on action and problem-solving rather than emotions, throwing themselves into work or other areas where they feel competent, and minimizing their own grief to focus on supporting their partner. These coping strategies aren't wrong, but they can lead to isolation and unprocessed grief. Healthy coping with male infertility includes finding at least one outlet for talking about it, whether that's a therapist, a trusted friend, or a support group. It also means allowing yourself to grieve rather than just "staying strong" and recognizing that your feelings matter even if your partner is going through more medically.
Can male infertility cause depression?
Yes, male infertility and depression are strongly connected. Research shows elevated rates of depression among men facing infertility, though it's often underreported because men are less likely to seek help. The diagnosis strikes at identity, masculinity, and life plans. Signs of depression include persistent low mood, loss of interest in activities, changes in sleep and appetite, difficulty concentrating, irritability, withdrawal from relationships, and feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt. If you're experiencing these symptoms, please reach out for support. Infertility depression therapy can help.
Is there therapy specifically for male infertility?
Yes, male infertility counseling is available through fertility-specialized therapists like Dancing Bee Counseling. Therapy for male infertility addresses the specific emotional challenges men face: the shame and stigma, the masculinity questions, the feeling of being "the problem," the isolation from not talking about it, and the guilt of watching your partner go through treatment because of your diagnosis. A male infertility therapist understands these dynamics and provides space for men to process their experience without the pressure to be strong or protect their partner's feelings. Individual therapy, couples therapy, or both can help depending on your needs.
How does male infertility affect masculinity?
Male infertility and masculinity are painfully intertwined for many men. Our culture equates virility with manhood: the ability to father children is seen as proof of being a "real man." When that's threatened, many men experience an identity crisis. Feelings of inadequacy and failure are common. You may question your manhood at a fundamental level, feel ashamed around other men, or worry that others see you as less masculine. Counseling for men with infertility helps separate your worth from your fertility, challenge cultural messages about masculinity, and develop a more grounded sense of manhood that doesn't depend on your diagnosis.
Should men see a therapist for infertility?
Men should consider seeing a therapist for infertility if: you're struggling with shame, guilt, or feelings of inadequacy; you're not talking to anyone about what you're going through; you're experiencing depression or anxiety; your relationship is strained; you're facing difficult decisions about treatment; or you just need space to process this experience with someone who understands. You don't need to be in crisis to benefit from male infertility emotional support. Men's mental health matters too, and infertility is a significant life challenge that deserves professional support.
Why See a Fertility-Specialized Therapist?
Understanding Male Experience
I understand that male infertility has its own specific challenges: the shame, the masculinity questions, the feeling of being invisible in a treatment process focused on women. Your experience matters.
Addressing Relationship Dynamics
I understand how male factor affects couples differently than female factor, the guilt dynamics, the communication challenges. Individual therapy for you and couples therapy together are both options.
Male Infertility Counseling in Madison, Wisconsin
Dancing Bee Counseling provides specialized male infertility therapy from our Waunakee office. Telehealth sessions are available throughout Wisconsin.
Dancing Bee Counseling
Serving Dane County and Beyond:
Telehealth may be preferred by men who want privacy. Both in-person and virtual sessions are available.
Abby Lemke, MS, LPC-IT
Reproductive Mental Health Specialist
I founded Dancing Bee Counseling because I saw how many people were suffering through infertility without adequate support. Men, especially, are underserved. The focus is usually on women since they undergo most of the physical treatment, but men carry their own grief, shame, and questions that often go unaddressed.
I believe men deserve dedicated space to process male infertility, not as an afterthought to couples work or as the "support person" for their partner, but as individuals with their own experience that matters. Whether you come alone or eventually bring your partner for couples work, I'm here to support you.
Your Experience Matters Too
Male infertility is hard. You don't have to process it alone or pretend you're fine. A consultation is simply a conversation about what you're going through.
In-person in Waunakee · Telehealth throughout Wisconsin