IVF Emotional Support & Counseling
Nurturing Your Wellbeing During IVF
IVF is more than medications and appointments—it's a deeply personal journey filled with hope and uncertainty. Every update can feel overwhelming, and every step carries meaning. At Dancing Bee Counseling, Abby Lemke, MS, LPC-IT offers a calm, supportive space where you can breathe, process, and find strength. You don't have to navigate this alone—we're here to help you feel grounded and cared for every step of the way.
The Emotional Side of IVF
Most people aren't prepared for what IVF truly feels like. The brochures outline medication schedules and retrieval procedures. Your doctor explains success rates and embryo grading. But no one talks about the 2 a.m. anxiety spirals or the wave of grief after another negative beta result.
The physical demands are real—daily injections, the discomfort of egg retrieval, and hormonal shifts that leave you feeling unlike yourself. Yet, the emotional weight often feels heavier. The two-week wait between transfer and beta can seem endless. And when a cycle fails, the grief is profound, even if others struggle to understand—because there's no visible loss to mourn.
IVF counseling gives you a space to process all of it with someone who understands the journey and won't ask you to explain the basics of what you're going through.
What IVF Counseling Addresses
Every stage of in vitro fertilization brings its own emotional challenges. Therapy provides support through each one.
Pre-Cycle Anxiety
The anticipation before starting IVF can be overwhelming. Fear of the unknown, worry about whether it will work, anxiety about injections and procedures. Counseling helps you prepare mentally for what's ahead.
Stimulation Phase Stress
Daily monitoring appointments, follicle counts, estrogen levels, adjusting medication doses. The stims phase is physically and emotionally demanding. Therapy provides coping strategies for managing this intensity.
Egg Retrieval Anxiety
Waiting for the call with your egg count, wondering how many will fertilize, hoping enough make it to day 5. The emotional weight of retrieval extends far beyond the procedure itself.
Embryo Report Grief
Not all embryos survive to transfer. Hearing that your numbers dropped from fertilization to day 3 to blastocyst can feel like repeated small losses. PGT results add another layer of hope and potential heartbreak.
Two-Week Wait Anxiety
The two-week wait between embryo transfer and beta testing can feel especially challenging. Every sensation may seem important, and the absence of symptoms can raise questions. Therapy provides support during this time, helping you stay centered and maintain your well-being as you navigate uncertainty.
Failed Cycle Processing
A negative beta brings a specific kind of grief. Failed IVF cycle support helps you process this loss, decide about next steps, and find your footing again before moving forward.
Multiple Cycle Burnout
By the second, third, or fourth cycle, exhaustion sets in. Financial stress compounds emotional strain. Hope becomes harder to access. Counseling provides support when you're running on empty.
Treatment Decision Support
Deciding whether to pursue another fresh cycle or a frozen transfer? Thinking about a new protocol, donor eggs, or when it might feel right to stop? In therapy, you lead the way. My role is to provide support, and a space for clarity so you can make choices that reflect your values and what matters most to you.
Who Seeks IVF Counseling?
People come to therapy at every stage of the IVF process:
Before starting IVF to prepare mentally for the emotional demands ahead
During stims struggling with hormonal side effects and daily monitoring stress
In the two-week wait unable to function due to anxiety about results
After a failed cycle grieving and unsure whether to try again
Between cycles exhausted but needing to decide about next steps
Partners watching their spouse go through IVF and feeling helpless
Couples whose relationship is strained by IVF stress
After successful IVF now pregnant but terrified instead of happy
Wherever you are in the IVF process, support is available.
Schedule a ConsultationWhy See a Therapist Specializing in Infertility for IVF Support?
Therapists specializing in infertility are familiar with the medical journey, the emotional challenges of IVF, and its impact on your daily routine.
I Understand the IVF Process
I know how much every step matters—the choices, the waiting, and the hopes tied to each step. Every part of this journey carries its own weight, and I'm here to walk alongside you through all of it.
I Speak the Language
You don't need to explain the details—I'm already familiar with the process. That means we can focus on what matters most: supporting your emotional well-being throughout this journey.
I Understand IVF-Specific Grief
The grief of embryos that didn't make it, the loss when you expected 10 eggs and got 4, the mourning after a negative beta. This grief is real, even when others don't see it.
ASRM Training
My training through the American Society for Reproductive Medicine means I follow evidence-based approaches specific to fertility mental health.
What IVF Counseling Looks Like
Practical Coping Strategies
IVF calls for unique strengths—like finding calm during injections, staying grounded through the two-week wait, processing hard news with compassion for yourself, and making choices with clarity. Together, we'll build practical tools to help you feel supported and confident throughout your treatment.
Processing Each Stage
Each phase of IVF brings different emotions. We'll work through whatever stage you're in, whether that's pre-cycle anxiety, mid-stims overwhelm, transfer day hope and fear, or post-cycle grief and decision-making.
Relationship Support
IVF can be stressful for both partners, sometimes in different ways. We're here to support you individually and as a couple, helping you feel understood and connected throughout the process.
Decision-Making Guidance
Big decisions deserve clarity, not pressure. Whether you're considering another cycle, or exploring new paths, therapy offers a supportive space to reflect and choose what feels right for you—with confidence and peace of mind.
Also Experiencing...
IVF often occurs alongside other emotional challenges. Dancing Bee Counseling also provides support for:
Questions About IVF Emotional Support
How do I cope emotionally during IVF?
Coping with IVF involves both practical strategies and emotional support. On the practical side, this might mean setting healthy boundaries—like limiting online searches, curating your social media to reduce stress, and creating calming rituals for challenging moments such as injections or waiting for clinic updates. Emotional coping is just as important: giving yourself permission to feel without judgment, connecting with trusted support, and considering guidance from a fertility-specialized therapist who understands the unique challenges of this journey.
Is it normal to feel depressed during IVF?
Yes—research shows that many people going through IVF experience symptoms of depression, and that's completely understandable. The process can feel overwhelming with its emotional ups and downs, financial stress, and constant uncertainty. If you've been feeling persistently sad, hopeless, or unable to enjoy things you normally love, you're not alone—and it's not something to ignore. The good news is that depression during fertility treatment responds well to counseling, and support is available to help you feel more grounded and hopeful.
Why is IVF so emotionally hard?
IVF is a big emotional journey. Hormone medications can affect how you feel physically and emotionally. Frequent appointments can disrupt your routine, and the financial side adds extra stress. Socially, it can feel isolating when others don't fully understand what you're going through. Each cycle brings hope—and sometimes heartbreak—which is a lot to carry. On top of that, you're thinking about big questions around parenthood and the future, all while feeling like you've lost some control over your body. If this feels hard, it makes sense—and you don't have to face it alone.
Should I see a therapist during IVF?
Many reproductive endocrinologists recommend therapy during IVF, and some fertility clinics require psychological evaluation before certain procedures. You might benefit from IVF counseling if you're experiencing significant anxiety or depression, struggling to make treatment decisions, finding that IVF is affecting your relationship, unable to function normally during the two-week wait, or having difficulty processing failed cycles.
How do I support my partner through IVF?
Supporting a partner through IVF is an opportunity to show care and strengthen your connection. Attending appointments when possible helps create a sense of teamwork. Learning the terminology shows commitment and makes conversations easier. Exploring couples counseling can provide tools for communication and help you navigate this experience together with confidence and compassion.
IVF Counseling in Madison, Wisconsin
Dancing Bee Counseling provides specialized IVF emotional support from our Waunakee office, conveniently located for patients from Madison-area fertility clinics. Telehealth sessions are available throughout Wisconsin.
Dancing Bee Counseling
Serving IVF Patients Throughout:
Convenient to UW Health Fertility, Wisconsin Fertility Institute, and other Dane County fertility clinics.
Abby Lemke, MS, LPC-IT
Reproductive Mental Health Specialist
I founded Dancing Bee Counseling to provide the kind of specialized fertility support that can make a real difference. Too many people go through IVF feeling alone, or they don't seek support at all because they don't know fertility-focused therapy exists.
My training through the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) prepared me for the emotional complexities of fertility treatment. I understand what you're going through, and I'm here to help you get through it.
IVF Is Hard Enough
You don't have to go through it without support. A consultation is simply a conversation about what you're experiencing and whether working together might help.
In-person in Waunakee · Telehealth throughout Wisconsin